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Bingo

I have made bingo across Row 1 of my 8-1-20 card for the Five Moments of Intimacy fest.

This inspired the free-verse poem "The Best Understanding of Their Differences." Calliope and Vagary work their way through intimacies, some awkward and others enjoyable.
461 lines, reserved for prompter

I haven't posted it yet, as the prompter is still mulling over how to budget it.

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I do believe that nets you the right to choose my BINGO card for me. (I offered it to the first person to post a Full FMI (all five categories) without any hint of sexuality.) Any of the cards I've made are okay; I didn't add any prompt that'd be a squick or Do Not Want for me, so take your pick. (You are free to pass; I'd just give the opportunity to the next person to meet the criteria.)

Shopping with MCU in mind, I'd love to see the Bottle Episode card. They so often get themselves trapped somewhere, it seems like a good fit. :D 3q3q3q!!!

Would you believe, Calliope and Vagary have been stuck together for well over a year, and haven't really sorted the sex/romance thing yet? Vagary doesn't actually know what his sexuality is. Calliope is a gendershifter, which complicates things further. So the issue is neither on the table nor off it. All their intimacy -- and they've done some astounding things -- has been basically platonic, aside from the awkward mess of Vagary walking in on Calliope while changing clothes once. There's not much conventional about their relationship.

Awesome! I'll see what I can do. (And maybe this'll push me out of my mini-slump -- the past couple days have had multiple scheduled things get half-unexpectedly un-scheduled, which tends to leave my brain in a kind of weird limbo state like it's afraid to get engaged with anything in case something else changes.)

Which characters are your favorites? Got any unusual choices? (One of mine is Nebula, but then I have a decided interest in redemption arcs.)

>> Awesome! I'll see what I can do. (And maybe this'll push me out of my mini-slump <<

I am rather good at inspiring people.

>> the past couple days have had multiple scheduled things get half-unexpectedly un-scheduled, which tends to leave my brain in a kind of weird limbo state like it's afraid to get engaged with anything in case something else changes.) <<

Ugh. That happens a lot to people with certain neurology. Most on the autistic spectrum, but also some gifted folks, and so on. Some people tend to "stack" things in mind, which takes energy to set up but is then more stable; but if it gets disarranged, then redoing the stack is a pain in the ass. One of the things that drives me bonkers is a finished project crawling back onto my desk and demanding attention. Schedule changes can wreak havoc because I've usually packed other things around the set parts.

>> Which characters are your favorites? Got any unusual choices? (One of mine is Nebula, but then I have a decided interest in redemption arcs.) <<

I love the internal dynamics of Bruce-and-Hulk, and their bromance with Tony. I am a huge fan of writing Clint as asexual; he mixes well with Phil and/or Natasha. I also write Clint & JARVIS a lot. Tony with JARVIS or any of the bots is awesome. Loki is another favorite, but he tends to be wretched with intimacy since he's coming hot out of an abusive family; the others have had longer to heal. I have, however, seen a few gorgeous pieces of Loki and Clint patching up their wreck of a relationship. Steve and Bucky are great together.

Got reminded of your comment here as my friend and I were discussing possible reasons that I feel so low-energy tonight. We went over basics -- sleep, food, hydration, general need-a-break -- but nothing's changed that much since yesterday, when I didn't feel such a slump.

Then my friend asked if I'd been really eager to see people for the church session that was going to happen Sunday (for the first time in ages) but then got canceled.

And, like... no. No, I had had all sorts of negative feelings about the details of that get-together. Attending online has been a blessing and lets me sleep in a couple hours later than normal (which clashes less with my normal productive hours) and there were a number of reasons that I was not looking forward to getting back together in person in this specific way. And the cancellation was not just "not this Sunday" but "not for the foreseeable future until our usual venue is back open to the public," which is a load off my mind.

So it should've felt like a positive, right? But then I remembered this conversation, and: Yeah. That's almost certainly what's doing it for me tonight. My brain had been trying to rearrange a lot of details around how this change would affect me, and now the change has been removed, and my brain is running some sort of weird damage control that is taking up all my processing power (making it very, very difficult to focus on writing, but also difficult to enjoy games and also difficult to just go rest).

So... thank you for making more clear to me what's going on in my brain. It's still not pleasant, but at least it's good to have a fairly clean explanation to pin this feeling on.

P.S. Why do so many members of my family (read: all of them) respond to "let me finish typing this thing before you can do the other thing (e.g. reset the router)" with "let me talk at you and/or loom over your shoulder and then wonder why you can't get it done any faster"?

P.P.S. Sorry for not responding to your PM about the poetry yet; it was a little bit of an info overload but I'm looking forward to going over it once I've got time to take a breath here.

Edited 2020-08-15 08:23 (UTC)

>>So... thank you for making more clear to me what's going on in my brain. It's still not pleasant, but at least it's good to have a fairly clean explanation to pin this feeling on.<<

I'm sorry the situation sucks, but glad I could help. This does give you an action plan: minimize other things that drain your energy, and look for things that restore your energy or help you resettle your mind.

Do you know what kind of things help? If not, consider getting a long list of coping skills and trying different ones to see what does. Some things I use when I need to reset or recharge:
* walking outdoors
* having a snack, especially fresh fruit
* listening to nature sounds or soothing music
* rereading a favorite story (usually not something new)
* folding laundry (takes energy but is good for organizing thoughts)
* taking a nap (if nothing else will reboot the brain)

>> P.S. Why do so many members of my family (read: all of them) respond to "let me finish typing this thing before you can do the other thing (e.g. reset the router)" with "let me talk at you and/or loom over your shoulder and then wonder why you can't get it done any faster"? <<

1) Some people's brains are wired differently, and what is distracting for you might not be so for them, so they fail to grasp that what they are doing may cause delays or crankiness.

2) They may be unable to entertain themselves for 1-2 minutes while you finish.

3) They may think that if they pester you, then you will in fact finish sooner to make them stop.

This is careless and disrespectful behavior, but is rarely malicious. Sometimes just pedantically repeating "I will give you my attention as soon as I reach a stopping place; it will take about (X minutes)" will work, as in teaching a toddler to wait.

>> P.P.S. Sorry for not responding to your PM about the poetry yet; it was a little bit of an info overload but I'm looking forward to going over it once I've got time to take a breath here.<<

That's fine. Now does not sound like a good time for you to be tackling mentally fiddly things. Though if you want to get a head start without getting into analysis, many people find nature poetry a soothing thing to read. It tends to have a slowing, calming effect.

Just checking in to make sure you saw that the Bottle Episode fic is underway as Turtles in a Bottle: Clint and Bucky stuck in a HYDRA installation because all the other heroes are off handling other things and Clint's been dosed with an unknown chemical so they're gonna quarantine for a couple of weeks.

It's gonna take a while (and I write slow and sporadically), but I'm enjoying where it's going, and the chance to compare the characters, who have a surprising amount of overlap. Plus, I tried to figure out a disability similar to deafness that would work for both of them (without disqualifying Bucky from joining the military), and ran across Auditory Processing Disorder. It's been kinda fun to put my linguistics background to work trying to give a version of that feel in some of the dialog.

Also, partway through the opening I threw realism out the window and went Full Hollywood. At least, for certain elements (mostly air ducts and knockouts). I usually try to be more realistic but that was getting in the way of making progress and I wanted it done sooner rather than better, so I went with it.

I've got the details worked out for all of the prompts I want to fill on the chart (to make the Turtle pattern: 14 out of the 25 prompts), it's just a matter of time. I've posted four chapters and expect it to hit at least ten, likely more.

Thanks for giving me the prompt!

Edited 2020-10-11 11:13 (UTC)

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