Winterfest in July Is closed

[vexed_wench]

spiralicious and I would like to thank everyone who participated in July's bingo. We'll have banners up as soon as we can manage them. They have limited internet and I am in south Florida and there is a hurricane on its way. As always, there will be the generic “I made a bingo” banner that anyone who completes a bingo later can grab and show off.

We hope to see you back here in October when spiralicious and I will be co-hosting Halloween / Samhain Bingo once more.

Comments

Re: Thoughts

[siberian_skys]

Thank you. I'll be interested to reading the links. All I do is sleep, not sleep, and try to sort this mess from hell. I'm hoping to write. That has to help. I'm calling the charity truck tomorrow so I don't have to look at all this stuff. That doesn't help either. At least I can be grateful that we're not getting a direct hit from Isaias. I need to feel grateful for something and I am very grateful for that.

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

Every little bit helps.

For feeling overwhelmed: Has anyone offered help? If so, you can keep a list of tasks that anyone could do, and have them do that stuff, saving your energy for things only you can do.

For gratitude: Some people find it useful to write down what they're grateful for, even little stuff like not getting caught in a storm or having a cup of tea.

Re: Thoughts

[siberian_skys]

I've actually had quite a few people offer to help. I just don't know what they can do besides what they have been, letting me talk it out. It's been a godsend. I wish I knew what they could do that is concrete.

I should try the gratitude journal again.

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I've actually had quite a few people offer to help.<<

Okay, great.

>> I just don't know what they can do besides what they have been, letting me talk it out. It's been a godsend. I wish I knew what they could do that is concrete.<<

Among the most common:
* Driving you places
* Grocery shopping
* Picking up mail / packages
* Running other errands around town
* Cooking or bringing meals
* Laundry
* Feeding pets / watering plants
* Other housekeeping

The idea is to take the weight off, so you don't have to focus on practical things when it's hard to remember what needs doing and what the steps are. You need to concentrate on grieving so it gets done right and doesn't deep-fry your life for years on end.

There are two typical ways to do this, when it is hard to think of what might help. 1) Look at lists of "things that help" and then write down those items that sound useful to you. 2) As you're going through the day, write down stuff you don't have time for, or wish you didn't have to do, that someone else could do.

https://mysideof50.com/help-when-someone-dies/

http://unspokengrief.com/7-practical-ways-to-help-your-grieving-friend/

>> I should try the gratitude journal again. <<

Good idea. The simplest is just to write down 3 things you are grateful for. If you like prompts, though, there are lots of gratitude journals for that:

https://www.intelligentchange.com/blogs/news/the-ultimate-guide-to-keeping-a-gratitude-journal

https://www.developgoodhabits.com/gratitude-journal-prompts/

https://diaryofajournalplanner.com/daily-gratitude-journal-prompts/

https://www.developgoodhabits.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/The-90-Day-Gratitude-Journal_Final-V2.pdf

There are also apps if you like that sort of thing:
https://www.happierhuman.com/gratitude-app/

Re: Thoughts

[siberian_skys]

I like prompts. I'm going to have to check those out.

I don't mind the mundane stuff. It's the stuff that they can't do that is driving me around the bend. I've pretty much given up until I get death certificates. I'm pretty much screwed until I get those. It's the bureaucracy that's terrible. Getting bills into my name, etc. And I'll have to do the house myself. She was pretty much a hoarder, though a very neat one. Everything was behind doors. At least the local charities are going to benefit as will the food bank.

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>It's the stuff that they can't do that is driving me around the bend.<<

There are people who specialize in helping with that part, some volunteer, some professional. Ask at funeral parlors or hospices to find them.

>> I've pretty much given up until I get death certificates. I'm pretty much screwed until I get those.<<

Sensible.

>> I'll have to do the house myself. She was pretty much a hoarder, though a very neat one. Everything was behind doors. At least the local charities are going to benefit as will the food bank.<<

At least try to get someone to sit with your for that part. You may have to make decisions, but someone else could carry things, box them, call places to say their pile is ready, bring you snacks and tissues, etc. It's not a good job to do alone, just for emotional reasons.

Re: Thoughts

[siberian_skys]

At least try to get someone to sit with your for that part. You may have to make decisions, but someone else could carry things, box them, call places to say their pile is ready, bring you snacks and tissues, etc. It's not a good job to do alone, just for emotional reasons.

If we weren't having a pandemic, I'd be all over that idea. Lots of distancing around here. I have crappy lungs and the people volunteering to help are all in the endangered age group. Someone did make me muffins which were very tasty and someone else took an item to donate that was too big for my car. I may ask her to do the same with some other stuff. I can put it in the driveway like I did the other item.